Social Media and Our Children

Why are kids so ugly to one another these days? Why do they say things behind a computer screen that they absolutely would NOT say to the other person's face? Why do they feel that it's cool to use profane language? Why?

Cyber bullying {noun} :  the electronic posting of mean-spirited messages about a person (as a student) often done anonymously

Here's the thing. I knew when our oldest son started middle school that it would be an adjustment. I remember when I started sixth grade what a struggle it was to fit in. Luckily, I made friends quickly and had a pretty smooth ride through much of middle and high school. {That's not to say I didn't have problems and issues with "mean girls". But, I made it out okay.}

Middle School is hard, y'all! 

What I wasn't prepared for with him was bullying. More specifically, cyber bullying. There's something a little more straight-to-the-heart when you, as a parent, can read the ugly words being said towards your child over social media. When you SEE words being spoken to your child that you yourself would never, in a million years, say. The profanity. The ugliness. The hatefulness. *sigh* I just can't even tell you how it breaks a momma's heart. 

Had he come home from school and said "so and so said this to me" it would have been painful. But, when I read profanity after profanity after profanity {does this kid know any other words} then it stinkin' hurt my heart. Mine and my son's.  

Why do I even bring this up? BULLYING NEEDS TO STOP. Bullying at school AND Cyber Bullying. TODAY!!

Talk to your kids. Every day. When they walk through the door ask them how their day was. Was it just "okay"? Pry it out of them. "I'm fine, Mom." To that I say, "No, you're not." Let your kids know they can trust you. You believe in them. You LOVE them. 

Are your kids on social media? Instagram, Facebook, Twitter?? Monitor it. Know their passwords. Know who their friends are. Know who they follow. Be one of their "friends".

I'm not telling you to be 100% in their business...but, really, you should be! We should ALL be in their little lives. 

When I was growing up, kids weren't so mean. We never had to deal with this kind of ugliness. Or, is that so? Had computers been such a large part of our generation as they are for our children, then kids would've surely been just as mean. Kids aren't "meaner", per se, they just have a new avenue to show their meanness.

We live in a world that is well on it's way to being all digital and social media. Today's technology is here to stay. As much as we don't like it. So, keeping our kids from the computer and social media isn't really the answer. Teaching them right from wrong in computer etiquette is a great start in fixing the problem. 

One important lesson we can teach our children: Tell your child to think to his/herself before typing it out to the other person, "would I say XYZ to _____'s face?" More often than not, so many hurt feelings {and other more serious, unfortunate events} can be avoided if our children would filter their thoughts before speaking/typing them for other children to hear/read. 

Do you have something to add to this post for other parents to read? Tell me in the comments.

mean people suck.

{photo credit: tgbusill}

here's my {not so new} observation...mean people suck.

what a way to start a blog post, right?

well, they do.

i used to see this in sticker form on the back of cars and think "wow, that's harsh."
my kids are not allowed to say the word suck. and it is not regularly used in our home.
{actually, it isn't used at all in our home. apparently, i reserve it for blogging purposes only.}

not to dig up old garbage, but...last year i was told by a fellow artisan that making pouches was her gig and chevron fabric was her thing and that i should just find something else to do. or find a different fabric to use since chevron was her fabric.   perhaps, i should continue making my cute t-shirts that i've already done so well on...her words, not mine.

i really let that bother me.

i didn't let it stop me from making pouches because, well, it is my responsibility to care for my family and, by golly, that's what my small shop does.  it allows extras for my family. 
but, i really let it bother me.

until, i asked a friend for her thoughts.
{i wish i had saved the exchange between us...but, i deleted it all in an effort to erase negativity.}
bottom line...my friend told me to "look around. there are hundreds of sellers on etsy using chevron."
i'm sure she encouraged me to keep my chin up and just be myself.

and i did.

and i let it go.

a few times since then i've had other situations that are just plain ugliness.
{i only used the above scenario to paint my picture}

would you be so mean to someone that was standing in front of your face?

i'm gonna go out on a limb to say, probably not.

there are too many gals {and guys} out there that think that the computer screen is this protector of all.

if i say this, it won't hurt her feelings.
if i send her this nasty convo, it'll be ok. afterall, i don't know her in real life.
i can get this off of my chest in an email and she'll understand. {or, it'll break her heart, but who cares...i don't know her}
i have NO idea what she is enduring in her own life, but i sure am going to tell her how it upsets me that fill in the blank.

ok, so don't get me wrong.
out of last year's 366 days, i had maybe 3-4 nasty-grams. well, 5-6 if you count the 2-3 that came from one person.

one nasty-gram would've broken my heart. really.

but, BUT, i let those ugly moments do something more.

i didn't just turn to a friend for advice.
through my tears and heartache {i know, SO dramatic} i turned to the bible.
what does God have to say about all of this??

He has a lot to say!

Proverbs 19:11 a man's wisdom gives him patience; it is to his glory to overlook an offense.
Proverbs 16:24 pleasant words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones.
Proverbs 15:4   a gentle tongue is a tree of life, but a deceitful tongue crushes the spirit.

this is one i just love...
Proverbs 11:16 a kindhearted woman gains respect.  {i believe He was referring to being behind the computer screen AND in front of people you see in real life.}

Ephesians 4:32 be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.
Colossians 3:17 and whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.


i tell you all of this to simply say, be nice. please.

you NEVER know how an ugly word can wreck a person's spirit.
you, also, may never know how a kind word can bring someone back from darkness.