it's veteran's day.

what does this day mean to you?

yes, your kiddos are out of school, the mail won't come to your front door, you won't be able to take that rebate check to the bank...
feels nice to have a day off of work, huh?

to my family veteran's day means so much more.

{hubs, march 2010, military police corps, 101st airborne division}

it means that hubs served in iraq for sixteen months in 2003-2004 for our freedom.

it means that hubs is currently down range defending our freedom.

your freedom.

it means that thousands and thousands of soldiers have put their life on the line or given the ultimate sacrifice.

it means that many families are without a loved one...right now or for the rest of 'this side of heaven'.

pray.
never stop praying for the Lord to watch over and keep our heroes safe.
never stop praying for the Lord to wrap His arms around the families who have lost a loved one.
pray always.

RIP SPC Andrew Hutchins

{April 1990-November 8, 2010}
...you will never be forgotten.

I will never forget.

Today is Pregnancy & Infant Loss Remembrance Day, October 15th.

It's a day to remember a baby lost to miscarriage, still birth, SIDS or other other infant illness.

It's a day that "we" can think back and wonder what might have been with our little one.

"We", as in, those of us who have suffered a loss.

When I was little I always wanted to be in all the clubs, all the cliques, all the groups that seemed to have a lot of members. I wanted to fit in and be a part.

This is a "club" that I would be happy if I were not a part of it.

Our bit of our story...
Picture it, or not (I love The Golden Girls), it was early 2003. Jake and I already had Jake Austin. JA was one week shy of turning one year old when Jake learned that he was depolying. Prior to him leaving for Iraq he had to spend three months in Fort Stewart, GA for training.

Ft. Stewart was only about two hours away so I would go up there every weekend. We had so much fun! We spent those weekends in Savannah, GA. I now have a great love for Savannah. It is really a beautiful place. You must go. I'm getting off track...this is why I don't tell stories. I get off track ALOT! (My mom does this too....oh NO!!!)

In May 2003 I took a home pregnancy test and sure enough I was pregnant with baby number TWO! I was SO excited! I called Jake right away...it was late and he was sleeping...I'm not sure he even heard me right...I told him AGAIN the next day. :o)

Of course, we were a little scared about having another baby right then. He was leaving for Iraq. I had JA at home to care for. We didn't know when Jake would be home for R&R. Would he miss the birth?

I went to the Naval Hospital and the technician thought right away something was not right. The heartbeat was faint. He sent me to the lab to have blood work done and I was to return everyday for a week to make sure my levels were rising....mine fell a little everyday.

The next ultrasound that was done was performed by the doctor. I remember him saying it and, over six years later can almost say it just like he did in his accent. "I do not get warm and fuzzy feelings about this one." My heart sank.

What does that mean?? Warm and fuzzy?? I just want a healthy baby....nothing fuzzy.

My baby's heartbeat had stopped...he/she was in Jesus' arms.

He gave me two options. I chose the latter and he scheduled me for a D&C. Praise God Jake was able to be there with me. I don't think I could have done that alone. He was with me when they took me to do the procedure and he was waiting for me when I came out. He held me and loved on me when I felt my world crashing.

I was 8 weeks pregnant.

I know that I will get to see that baby one day. I feel like I will know him/her when I get to Heaven. I don't know the details but, I know in my heart that he/she is waiting on me.

Today, as you know, Jake and I have had three more beautiful babies since that day. We love each of our four children more than anything...and thank God for them daily!!! In our hearts we know that we have FIVE babies. That makes me smile.

Say a short prayer today for those who have suffered a loss. It's tough. Even today, six years later, it's tough.

It helps also to know that God loved us so much that He gave His only begotten son that who so ever believes in Him shall not perish but have EVERLASTING life! (John 3:16)

Sweet McKinley is home!!!

We brought our precious baby home on Sunday. Jake and I have been on a crazy roller coaster of emotions over the past week.

Here's a small glimpse of the first few days of her life....

December 9th- McKinley Rose was born.

December 10th- She is doing great!!

December 11th (wee hours of the morn)- McKinley is taken to NICU because she spit up bile.

December 11th (around 6:00am)- we go see our little girl in the NICU. I can't describe the emotion one feels to see something so precious hooked up to so many wires and tubes. We're told she'll be there for at least 48 hours to run tests and to do an upper GI to look for a possible blockage in her intestine. I talk my doctor into giving me one more day in the hospital. (I couldn't bear leaving her there....me going home without her.)

December 12th- I head downstairs to the NICU for the GI results and the doctors tell me there is "no medical explanation" as to why our daughter was sick. She continues with "she is clinically HEALTHY"!!!! Now, you tell me prayer doesn't work! There were folks all over the country praying for McKinley! The power of prayer will never cease to amaze us!!!! Our daughter is HEALTHY! I'm able to push my discharge time back as late as I could....I go home at 9:30pm....without McKinley. (they wanted to continue observation on her)

December 13th- I get up, leave Daddy and Big Brothers at home so I could go to the NICU to spend the day with her. She's such a sweet, sweet girl!! Daddy went to see her right after I got home. He was there until late that night. (Jake cannot deny the softy he's become for his little princess!!! He would have been by her side 24/7 if he were able!) We are told she can go home tomorrow!!!!!!!

December 14th- We all get up and get ready to go get Baby Sister!!! We drop the boys off at Ganny and Poppy's and head straight to the NICU!! Our little girl is waiting!!! She's got her IV out...YAY!! Her heart monitor was still attached but that's ok....it was nice to not see the other stuff we knew was uncomfortable for her. We get her dressed, get the run-down on how to be parents (DUH!) and we are off!! McKinley Rose is in the truck with us and we are taking her HOME! We make a pit-stop at Great Grandaddy and Great Granny's house and then picked up the Brothers....and then she was home!!!

December 15th- We are still in awe of how GREAT God is! We have such a precious little girl!!

December 16th- I'm at home with 4 kiddos...Daddy's at work...tell me this gets easier!!! :o)

So, without further ado...here is our Princess!!!!


I love this little hat the hospital nursery gave her. These are all made by elderly ladies in nursing homes. They then take "field trips" to the hospital to deliver them....how stinkin' sweet is that??!!??


McKinley Rose and Great Grandpa


in the NICU...she was so rested and peaceful! This was a huge improvement from a few hours prior. She was obviously uncomfy before she went to the NICU.




after the tube was removed...YAY!!!


Daddy's Girl! (and that's my handsome hubby!!!!!)


It's time to go home!


McKinley and Great Granny


One proud Big Brother!


Another proud Big Brother! (Please excuse his eyes...this child has the hardest time with the flash! LOL)


Who does she look like??? She is a spittin' image of her Daddy!


This next pic is completely off topic but I had to share! This is our Santa pic. We drove all the way across town for the two youngest boys to be near terrified...and for them to tell us that we only get two shots with our camera and we could buy the one they take. HA! I refuse to pay $20 for ONE 5x7...not happenin'!!!! And well, I think I captured a pretty good shot of all of my boys! (even if it is a teensy bit blurry and Jake's eyes are closed...look at sweet Jonah peeking around Daddy!)