Is Life Really THAT Hard?

Tonight I was going through old photos, looking for an old back-to-school picture of the kids, and I found this picture. This was the last time I talked to my husband when he was in Afghanistan, before he came home from deployment. I miss military life. He misses military life. We really thought THIS was what hard life was. Countless trainings away from home, deployments, late nights, and early mornings. There wasn't much else that could be tougher. Boy, were we wrong. 

When you think life is hard, and you're questioning "why me?", remember that it's only a season. And, one day that seemingly hard season may end, and you'll miss it like crazy!

Never Forget.

photo credit

I still remember where I was on September 11, 2001. 

I was about 3 months pregnant with my oldest son, asleep in bed. My mom called me and told me to get up and go turn on the TV. I was so very confused as to what I was seeing. And then the second plane hit. Fear set in. My husband, then fiancé, was at work. I called his dad and asked him what this meant for Jake. After all, he was fresh out of MOS training in the U.S. Army. He was in the reserves, but I knew they'd be calling first responders in. In my 20 year old mind, he was leaving any minute and I was scared. 

He didn't leave right away, but he did deploy in 2003. Eighteen long months without him. And again in 2010. Another twelve months without him. 

My family didn't lose a loved one ON September 11, but we still feel the pain of the tragedy. We've lost time together, we've faced fear and uncertainty, and my husband lost army buddies. So many military families share our story. 

We will NEVER forget. 

To my NY friends, when I was in your amazing city a couple of months ago, I couldn't help but get choked up a time or two while walking around, trying to envision the chaos and fear that was on that day. In my mind, I was trying to see what we all saw in those pictures that I'm sure you can never forget. Even 14 years later, my heart is so heavy for this piece of history. Hugs.

Sometimes I Dream of Lobster Stew {Our Trip to Maine, part one}

On November 8, 2010 a tragedy happened that would soon bring two families together. Andrew L. Hutchins was killed in Afghanistan. 

"Hutch" served with my husband in the 101st Airborne Division with the 3rd STB, 3rd BCT Rakkasans. They were Military Policeofficers. Soldiers. Friends. Brothers in Arms. It's hard to believe that one day, one single moment, can forever change a life. Many lives. 

After Hutch was killed my husband vowed to always stay in touch with his family. Not in an intrusive way. If they didn't want him around then he wouldn't push. Luckily, they welcomed him with open arms. Not only into their lives but, into their home. Into their family.

The first anniversary of Hutch's death my husband went to Maine to be with Hutch's wife and infant daughter, his parents and his brother. That would only be the beginning of an amazing connection between all involved. 

When Hubs took me with him last year I didn't know what to expect. I wasn't sure I could handle the emotions around it all. I didn't know Hutch, yet I cry each and every time I sit and write about him and his family or I talk about him in depth....and even when I think long and hard about our daughter's name, Mabry Mae Hutchins. {she is named after him to honor his sacrifice} I certainly didn't expect to fall in love with the people that Hutch loved so dearly. He has an amazing family. His dad met us at the airport with great big hugs and kisses, took us to his home and made us dinner. His stepmom made sure we saw as much as we could see in the short time we were there. His young wife brought their now toddler daughter to visit with us. We enjoyed those three days more than I think I will ever be able to convey to them. I will forever treasure the days spent in Maine. {and look forward to many, many more!}

I don't know why I feel compelled to write about Hutch and his family so often. I won't apologize for it. He deserves to be remembered. So MANY soldiers are forgotten. Or, their story is told once or twice and "that's enough". I think I will come back and write about Hutch and his sacrifice and his family often. VERY often. He will not be forgotten. Not by his family. Not by my husband. Not by me. Not by any of you if you stick with my blog long enough. :o)

I sat down to write today because I found some pictures from last November when we went to Maine. I wanted to share them with you. And then I just started typing and all of that above came out. Now, I'll share the pictures. And why this post is titled what it is titled.

The day after we arrived in Maine, Hutch's dad took us to this amazing little restaurant on the water.


Cook's Lobster House on Bailey Island, Maine. Seriously, if you find yourself in the area, GO! Have the Lobster Stew. Thank me later.

Lobstah Stew, y'all. {that's Maine talk and Southern talk right there!} See those enormous chunks of lobster? Heaven in your mouth. No joke.


Fresh Maine Lobster, or Lobstah, if you're reading from Maine. {Hubs had already taken two pieces off of my plate before I got a picture. Did he forget I'm a blogger and take pictures of all of the food???!!?!}

After we ate lunch, we walked around the tiny island for a little bit. It was cold and dreary but, like nothing I had ever seen before. Simple beautiful.















While we walked around in the cold, Hutch's dad sat in the warm truck and loved on our Mabry.



Until November of this year, I'll keep looking back on these pictures. I can't wait to get back up there and hug the necks of a family that I never knew I had...and would've never met under any other circumstances.

{there are more pictures...waiting to be edited. Coming soon. *wink*}

she carries the name of a hero.

Mabry Mae Hutchins {insert last name here} is finally here!  She was born August 25.  {I'm excited to share with you her birth story but, you'll have to wait for another post.}

"Why such a long name?", "She has four names. Why?", are questions we've already been asked.  I'll tell you why.  Mabry is named after a hero.

CPL Andrew "Hutch" Hutchins was a soldier in Hubs' platoon in Afghanistan in 2010.  I don't know the details.  I don't know exactly how he died.  I just know that he and Hubs were close...Hutch was like a little brother.  And I know he died proudly serving our country.

When we found out we were pregnant in December we knew two things; we didn't want to find out the gender and we wanted the baby to be named after Hutch, regardless of gender, the baby would carry his name.  Naming the baby after Hutch was Hubs' idea.  I didn't argue a bit.  I knew it would mean a lot to both Hubs and Hutch's dad, whom Hubs has become close to, as well.

Why Mabry?  Honestly, it's a name I found online while searching for French names that begin with M. {Our last name is French}

Why Mae?  My maternal grandmother's middle name was Mae.  And after we had already named her, my dad told me that my paternal great-grandma's name was Mae.  Everyone called her Momma Mae.  Double win!

Yes, it'll be a mouthful when this little girl gets in trouble.  Yes, people will continue to ask why her name is so stinkin' long.  Yes, it appears that she has two last names.  That's okay.

Mabry Mae Hutchins {insert last name here} has quite a story of how her daddy thought so much of a fellow soldier, an American hero, that he named his daughter after him.  I'm pretty sure she'll be proud.


You'll never be forgotten, Hutch.











 

Preparing for Deployment

From time to time I get emails asking for advice from an army wife's perspective. It flatters me that I'm asked. I love being an army wife. I'm daily proud to be married to my American soldier.

A few months ago I was asked, by a new army wife, about deployments. This was my response to her...

Yes, my husband has deployed. Twice. The first time was in 2003. He was gone for 16 months. That was before the 12 month "boots on ground" rule. The second time was in 2010. He was gone for 12 months.

{He's also left us for months at a time for schools and training. These can be equally as hard.}

Preparing for a deployment is never easy. Emotionally, it's tough. Physically, it's tough. {because you are now mom and dad and everything in between} Financially, it can be tough, if you don't prepare for all the stuff he'll need and want to take with him so he'll have some comforts from home.

Deployments are hard. For you and your soldier.

My biggest piece of advice would be to be patient. With your soldier and yourself. {especially if this is your first deployment} He has so much going through his mind as far as leaving his home and you and family and you and the house responsibilities and you. He's going to miss you. And if there are children involved he'll miss them too.

Have I said deployments are hard?

Be patient with yourself. You are trying wrap your mind around being without the man you love and can't live without for at least the next nine months. It's going to be hard. The first few weeks you may walk around in a cloud of sadness.

It gets better.

You'll get calls from him and emails and letters. You'll hear his voice and know that he's ok. Every day is one day down. One day closer to having him back in your arms.

Start thinking now on who you can go to for support. Who can you call when you're sad? Or, you may not want to talk to anyone at all. I didn't want to for the first few days. I just wanted to be alone. Watch a movie alone. Read a book. Go to bed early.

But, there are times when you want to talk to someone. Need to talk to someone. Who is that someone for you? Do you live on post? The army has moved you far away from close friends and family? Are you friends with another wife whos husband is deployed? If you don't know her well, get to know her. One of my very best friends now is someone I could call at any time, day or night, and she was there. Her husband was also deployed.

You don't live on post? That's okay, too. Are you close to your sister? Have a best friend you can talk to? They may not completely understand what you're going through but they can help pass the time.

A tip: Use the deployment as a time to do things you may not have been able to do while your soldier is home. Like, stay up late, go to a chick flick at the movie theater, craft all night, leave your crafty mess all over the dining room table, watch soap operas, eat junk food for dinner...ha! These are a few things that just wouldn't fly with my hubby.

Of course, these aren't all of the answers to preparing for a deployment. But, it's a good start.


Do you have questions? Suggestions? Leave me a comment. I'd love to add to this. Let's make prepping for a deployment as easy as possible for our fellow military spouses.








****Shop and be merry! Today, Tuesday, November 27th, Mabel's Labels is ringing in the holiday season by offering 40% off Skinny Minis, The Basic Kit, Shoe Labels, and Preschool Labels. Mabel's Labels products make perfect stocking stuffers, party favours and personalized add-ons to other gifts. Discounts cannot be combined with other offers, coupons or promotions or with purchases made through fundraisers. Hurry - before this offer ends! Happy Shopping!****

if only for a season.

a few times over the last couple of weeks i've missed my friends in fort campbell.
like, missed them bad.
like, totally miss the daily connections we all shared.

we all had iphones so we had a big group text set up.
we would tell each other good morning {sometimes WAY too early}, we would send out requests to borrow team jerseys during spirit week, we would ask if the kids are riding bikes or walking today, "is today the deadline for fundraiser money?"...

that group text was also handy for dinner time when you head to the pantry for a can of chicken broth only to realize you were out.
send out a text and someone would almost always respond that they had a can you could have.
"send a kid" is what we would say. {you would then send a kid to get the can of said chicken broth}

those friends were there for early evening sitting-in-the-driveway-while-the-kids-play days, "who's coming to my thirty-one party?" parties, halloween chili and trick-or-treating nights, and SO MUCH MORE!!!

we did secret santa at christmastime and we "boo'ed" each other at halloween.

{between us we had more than 25 kids.
of the 25 more than half were at the ages to play well together...
and play well they did!
our kiddos were as close as all of us moms were.}

don't even get me started on what a supportive bunch they were during deployment.
when hubs was deployed for one year during our time in fort campbell those girls were my rock!
there were meals shared, shoulders to cry on, countless sleepovers for the kids, and late nights around the fire pit.

i miss those girls so SO much.
i long for a group of friends that special again.

oh, they're all still there for me.
i'm still on that group text.
now, i get a kick out of them asking if anyone has a cup of milk and me responding "me!"
{i live much too far away for them to have my cup of milk. LOL}
when they ask who's coming to the next thirty-one party i respond "i can't this time."

when i'm feeling sad, like today, i let them know.

jamie, christy, hollie, laura, sandy, jen, and gina, i miss you girls terribly.
you all are more than friends...you're family.
thank you for being so great for the short time we were together!

one day soon we will make it back up there to visit. pinky promise.
if you're ever in florida you better stop in and say hello!



linking up at {in}courage where we're discussing community for the next five weeks.

memorial day.

what does memorial day mean to you?



i think every year for the last couple of years i have written a similar post.
i feel the need to remind folks that memorial day is so much more than a day off of work, a postal holiday, an excuse to have a neighborhood bbq, or a weekend for great sales at the mall.

it's a day to remember our american heroes.
a day to remember those who have served in our military.
a day to remember the fallen soldiers...those who paid the ultimate sacrifice.
a day to also not forget the families of the fallen soldiers.

if you're out and about today {or tomorrow} and you see a soldier will you stop and tell him or her thank you?
your freedom is largely thanks to them.



{sweet allyssa will never know her daddy.}


{thank you, "hutch" for your dedication and sacrifice for your country. we will never forget you.}

in her daddy's arms.

this princess will always have her daddy wrapped around her finger.
and he'll always keep her safe.

so random. and a blessing.

life around our house has been a little nuts lately.

i've captured a few moments here and there but, i've mostly been savoring every moment.

our kids are growing up so fast.
mckinley isn't a baby anymore.
jett will turn FIVE in a few short months.
jonah is reading like crazy. and loving every book!
jake is nearly TEN!

a few shots from the last couple of weeks...
straight out of the camera.
i have no time for editing.


jake fell asleep reading his book.
mrs. o'bryan and mrs. d would be so proud!


mckinley and i were supposed to be taking a nap.


she opted to have a mini photog lesson.
{i love that she shares my love of picture taking!}


we went to our life group christmas social on january 13 and got this bath spa as a "white elephant" gift.
joke's on the gift giver!
little did they know it creates hours of bathtime fun!!!
{check out all the bubbles that baby works up!!}






those slippery bubbles also make boo'boo's if children do not obey their parents.
mckinley got out of the bath and was told to get back in...she slipped and hit her neck on the water spout. OUCH!




daddy's not big on bringing home candy surprises.
he'd rather not rot the kids teeth.
so, he brings home princess towels for our princess and peanuts for our boys!
and he surprised us all with the new smurfs movie!

****************************************************

i had an amazing thing happen in the commissary this morning.

as i was checking out i noticed an older man {old enough to be my grandpa} checking out his groceries. {we were both in the self checkout lanes}
hubs will tell you that i have a hard time not listening to other peoples conversations while i'm out and about.
i call it being interested...not nosy.
i'm a self-proclaimed "people watcher."

anyway, i heard the old man tell the cashier that he only had $40 and he needed to take a few things off of his bill.
ugh...my heart strings were being pulled.
the holy spirit was telling me to not allow this man to go home without his jalepenos and shredded cheese. {these were the items he was putting back}
i slid over in his direction and asked the cashier if i could pick up the rest of his bill.
she looked confused that i would even ask such a thing but looked at the man to see if it was ok with him.
he obliged.

here's where it gets good.

as i looked in my wallet i realized i only had $3.00 in cash but said i would pay his difference on my debit card.
all of a sudden there was a lady behind me saying that she had cash.
she asked how much he needed and handed me $6.00.
ANOTHER lady then said she had the exact change. 55 cents.

oy!
i'm telling you i wanted to burst into tears right then and there.

God was at work.
spreading His love.
allowing us three ladies to shine a light.

the folks who were in line behind us looked a little annoyed that i was taking up a register and helping this man instead of ringing my own groceries.
i did not care.
i was being called to do something greater.

and do you know what that old man said to me???
with the sweetest smile on his face he said, "the Bible tells us to share in each other's burdens."

indeed, it does.

Galations 6:2 "Carry each other's burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ."

i pray for more opportunities to show and share God's love.
He has so much to give!


*****************************************************

i pray you have a super-duper monday!

11.11.11

my week has been a bit emotional...

monday morning hubs woke up early to head to the airport.
he was on his way to visit a now new forever friend and her daughter, heather and allyssa.

i think because i am so proud to be his wife that i must have cried everyday this week.
for reals.

a little background...
heather is the widow of one of jake's buds from afghanistan, andrew hutchins, also simply known as "hutch".
allyssa is the precious baby girl hutch was never able to meet.

jake was there from monday to wednesday.
tuesday was the one-year anniversary of hutch's death.
{only three days before veteran's day}
he wanted to be there for so many reasons.
to finally meet heather and allyssa.
to meet hutch's parents.
heather's parents.
to visit hutch's grave.
some reasons i may never know and even more so will never understand.

there is a significant age difference between jake and hutch.
jake thought of him as a little brother.
and now...heather is a little sister.
and allyssa a niece.
to us both.

thank you, heather.
veteran's day has been dear to me for the last ten years of being an army wife, but it now takes on a whole new meaning.
my husband lost a brother in afghanistan.
my heart hurts for him.
you lost your husband, your best friend.
my heart hurts for you.
for allyssa.
she lost her daddy.

i will NEVER take for granted my freedom.
because of my husband and because of hutch.
because of all the brave men and women who served before them.
and who are serving now.

{these are a few few amazing pictures from jake's trip}

is she not the cutest?!?!


this is my favorite.
he loves her so much.






allyssa giving her daddy some lovin'.









one final picture...
this is sunset on fort campbell.
just before the lowering of the colors.


r.i.p. cpl andrew l. hutchins
04.30.90-11.08.10

you will never be forgotten.

memorial day.

me·mo·ri·al day {noun} a day, the last monday in may, on which those who died in active military service are remembered.
***
did you remember?
because you had a day off of work?
because you knew the true definition of memorial day?
because you know someone who was killed in action?

today, we remembered.

we remembered all those who have died in years past.
we remembered one who died just recently.

cpl andrew l. hutchins
son, husband, daddy {to a precious girl he never met}



never forget those who paid the ultimate price.
never forget those who live daily without loved ones so dear.
never forget wives who will never wrap their arms around their 'forever love' again.
never forget children who will grow up without mommy or daddy.
never forget why we still are still benefited freedoms.
never forget.

heather and allyssa,
you are forever in our hearts.
forever.

today...he marches.

if you would, will you pray for hubs today?
he has a TWELVE mile ruck march at 3am.
{i'm actually awake right now at 12:57am to make sure he doesn't sleep through his alarm...he needs to be up at 1:00am.}

today is also the day he will graduate from air assault school.
WOO-HOO!!!

i am so proud of him.
he is the most amazing man in the whole world.

so, please pray for him and this ruck march.
thank ya!

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

yay!!!!
hubs texted me this morning at 7:08 and let me know he finished his ruck march!!!
thank you so much for praying...i'm sure getting up at 1:00am and marching twelve isn't the easiest in the world to do.
but, with God all things are possible!

waiting.

a couple of weeks ago i got up before the birds to go stand in a line.
to buy a book.

not just any book either.
decision points by {former} president george w. bush, or as i call him in my mind, g-dub.

it was to be a special gift for the hubs.
not only was i buying the book but i was going to get a ticket to come back and stand in another line that starting forming on a different day before the birds awoke to have this book signed by the one and only george w. bush. {how's that for a run-on sentence?}
would you believe that when the big day arrived and i awoke before the birds for the second time in over a year to go get in line i found this...

cancelled.
but, then rescheduled.
ugh, you mean i'm gonna have to get up a third time before the birds???
yes, that's what that means.
and i did it!
i jumped out of bed, grabbed a cup of coffee and left my house with a smile on my face cause i knew i was doing something for hubs that was possibly a once in a lifetime occurrence.
no one else could get him this gift.
i wanted to do something extra special for him since he's been doing something extra special for me for the last year...defending my freedom.

i met the president!

he signed my book.

that i proudly handed over to hubs as i walked through the door when i got home...right after i gave him a smooch.


there were no cameras or cell phones allowed.
i was super bummed!
but, bill larson was there to rescue me.
he took these beautiful photos of the super famous george w. bush.
thanks, bill!