Never Forget.

photo credit

I still remember where I was on September 11, 2001. 

I was about 3 months pregnant with my oldest son, asleep in bed. My mom called me and told me to get up and go turn on the TV. I was so very confused as to what I was seeing. And then the second plane hit. Fear set in. My husband, then fiancé, was at work. I called his dad and asked him what this meant for Jake. After all, he was fresh out of MOS training in the U.S. Army. He was in the reserves, but I knew they'd be calling first responders in. In my 20 year old mind, he was leaving any minute and I was scared. 

He didn't leave right away, but he did deploy in 2003. Eighteen long months without him. And again in 2010. Another twelve months without him. 

My family didn't lose a loved one ON September 11, but we still feel the pain of the tragedy. We've lost time together, we've faced fear and uncertainty, and my husband lost army buddies. So many military families share our story. 

We will NEVER forget. 

To my NY friends, when I was in your amazing city a couple of months ago, I couldn't help but get choked up a time or two while walking around, trying to envision the chaos and fear that was on that day. In my mind, I was trying to see what we all saw in those pictures that I'm sure you can never forget. Even 14 years later, my heart is so heavy for this piece of history. Hugs.

where were you?

where was i?
i can't remember where i was on november 14th, 2004.
nor can i remember where i was on september 1, 2010.
but, i do remember where i was on september 11, 2001.

i was pregnant with my first son, jake.
i was living on the west side of jacksonville, fl with four of my girlfriends.
when the first plane hit i was still in my warm bed.
the first person to call that horrific morning was my mom.
"are you watching tv?"
no, i'm in bed. where else would i be on a tuesday morning at 9 o'clock in the MORNING??
"go turn on the tv."
ugh...ok, fine.
i dragged my feet and probably grumbled all the way into the living room.
i am not a morning person.

once i plopped my very tired, very pregnant bum onto the couch and flipped on the tv i saw it.
i questioned what i was even seeing.
how could this happen?
was it an accident?
who would do this sort of thing?

then it became real for me.
for my unborn son.
for my fiance.

hubs (then fiance) was in the army reserves in 2001.
i was crying and worried and sick to my stomach.
would he have to leave us to go fight these mean people that have nothing better to do with their time than to attack the most amazing country in the whole world???
would he be by my side as i delivered our baby?
would he help me raise him and any other blessings we received?
would he come home?

my question on september 11, 2001 was answered in february of 2003.
hubs was called to iraq. for a twelve month tour that turned into a sixteen month tour.
then, he came home.

we are in the middle of another deployment now.
still for the same reason he, and thousands and thousands of other brave men and women, were called in 2003.
prayerfully hubs' twelve month tour will only be twelve months this time.
until he comes home...we are proud. so very proud of him.
and love him more than words can say.

while we had many years in between deployments.
and many babies.
and houses.
and memories.
there are so many families in america that were stripped of those dreams in just seconds.

i didn't understand what it meant to be proud of your country until that day.
it didn't matter to me if i had an american flag flying outside my house.
i half heartedly said the pledge of allegiance.
the national anthem had little meaning to me.

today, i'm proud.
i have a flag flying outside of my home everyday.
i stand tall with my hand planted firmly over my heart.
tears fall down my face every time i hear the national anthem.

we will never forget september 11, 2001.
it has forever changed our lives.

are you a proud american?
will you say a prayer for those who lost a loved one as a result of september 11?
will you fly your flag today? and everyday?
will you thank a soldier, sailor, airman, or marine?
this army wife thanks you!

may God continue to bless AMERICA!